Wednesday, January 1, 2014

He's Just Not That Into You


Yo, ho, ho, Happy New Year!

How'd your New Year's go?  We partied with the writers' group and played endless games of Cards Against Humanity.  I won out of ten people, with the most diabolical disgusting answers.  Cocktails flowed; peops partied; inappropriate remarks abounded.  Life is good.

So what's going on in my dating world?

The holidays are always a fruitful free-for-all for me (men feeling sad, or not liking their current relationships and really wanting to connect with me) so that I have the rest of the year to act as a drought in the sea of dating, hence the picture of an abandoned house here in the "hills."  Sort of a metaphor for my dating life.  Constant, but dauntingly haunted.

A holla out for the ladies: ever listen to your gut?  Your gut, you know, is the center of the universe talking to you. That weird niggling voice you get about a dude/significant other or a career change, one that seemingly makes no sense and makes perfect sense at the same time.  It's never based upon factual evidence either.  It's entirely intuitive, and sorry fellas, but women have it and most men DO NOT.  And I'm hear to tell ya that you must always listen to this "gut."   My whole ENTIRE dating life, I've pretty much ignored this listening, but in the past three years, I've decided to really hone in on this quiet, simple, incredibly hard to hear voice within myself.

Oh, the agonies it could have spared me.  The hunky yet dreadful disasters sniffing around my doorstep.  But back in the day, who knew what "dysfunctional" meant?

Lately, I've for the first time in my life, spotted an unhealthy situation and was able to allow, ALLOW, the universe to spin it out of my life with little harm.

There I lie in my bed, when the universe, who rarely makes a personal appearance in anyone's life, let alone mine, tip-toed in and threw some scenarios in my head.

Here were a few:
1. This person who is with another woman right now, was yet mingling with you=emotionally-not-available.
2. (I agreed to pay for a "few drinks" but the bill was $111 with food and tips).  Think you'd dig that on a regular basis? 
3. Should you bother rustling the feathers of a relationship that's already messy, and if so, why?  Do you want to be the next enabler? 
4. And the biggie.  If days and days go by and you hear squat, and if you text/email and hear monosyllabic one-word answers, he's just not that into you.  Got it?  There's your answer.  He's just not into you.  And that might be a damned good thing.

OK, now on the flipside for some disturbing PRO's instead of con's
1. what if you felt connected?
2. what if laughter abounded?
3. what if  you're both on the same path of life?
4. and this is the worst and most destructive of them all: what if your passion for him is wild?

Doesn't it sound wiser to just live with your niece when you're old and just be known as the family gardener/genealogist?

I'm out.  

OK, I need a cocktail.  This is all too fucked up for me to ponder, and the Universe has already taken care of the situation for me.  I'm looking out for all of us.  Stay tuned.

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