He was worried that I hadn't answered any of his texts so he must have found out a way to block his own phone number and called me. I thought maybe it was my boss, and picked up.
"Hey, this is Robert, the photo journalist from California? I'm looking for that cool redhead model who's supposed to be looking for a camera man . . ." and so on he went in this cute charade-voice until I burst out laughing. Then a little while later, "I was wondering why I hadn't heard from you. Are you OK?"
This wasn't the complete douche I was expecting. In fact, I just expected he was only looking for booty call and wrote him off last night. And then I did the most outrageous thing I've ever done.
I totally lied to him.
I said I'd tweaked my back and just got out of the hospital, but was OK recovering on the couch.
"Oh, my GOD. Are you OK?" he asked with genuine concern in his voice. Immediately, I knew I turned a corner. There was no going back. I had to lie full on to him now.
Why?
I'm terrified of meeting a man who might be right for me. Only because I am terrified of getting hurt again. I, sigh, am no different than Crackie. This wasn't a guy looking for a quick hook up.
I carried the charade for a while then he started talking about his family. He was sitting at "our bar" and asked teasingly if the bartender knew me. She said, "I love Natalie. Everyone LOVES Natalie." It was cute. Eventually, we said good bye. Sadly, or not sadly, he said, "We'll talk soon, Natalie."
I think last night, he just totally pulled a typical "Man thing" and fucked up. And then I did the same kind of man-thing and also fucked up.
Oh well. We'll see if this thing carries over when he gets back to San Diego.
Thoughts to you? Don't be so freaking paranoid that you go kicking every guy/gal's ass who likes you and immediately kick their ass to the curb like I did.
But DO be careful. It's a tough world out there, kiddies.
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