Who You Are and Whom You Once Were

I read an interesting essay yesterday that discussed how we're supposed to think a certain way once we are "adults," and that who we once were as children sort of dies or disappears.  It's like society pushes you to hurry up and "grow up."  This is true.  And it's certainly BS.

The essay argued we can reverse this cultural stigma, and we CAN be our inner children if only we reach out to ourselves and TRUST, in that we trust ourselves, and that we have trust in the Universe.

Hence, that's me in the picture, and that's sort of me now, always riding my bike.  But do I have that childlike wonder, that trust or faith like a child does?

After a long parade of fools these past ten years, (men sending me pictures of themselves shirtless, sending me pictures of their pee-pees, asking me to run off to some time-share when they don't know me, married men looking for three-somes, "supposablies and I-don't-got-no's," Cactus Man, and other offensives to humanity), I sort of lost touch with my inner child and turned more into a warrior in combat, guns locked and loaded.

Imagine my surprise, my utter shock when this new guy, the Artist, sent me something that just touched my inner-child.  He sent me a recording of him singing a song and playing the guitar.  I'm not sure if he wrote it or not, but it was about a guy saying he's lucky to have met this girl, even if she doesn't want to be his friend, even if they part their own ways, he's just lucky he got to know her at all.  It was so sweet and kind of sad in a way, because his voice is lovely, and the melody gentle, country-like and innocent as a child.

Call 9-1-1!  He broke through Fort Knox! 

And a big, ol' tear rolled down my cheek. 

I immediately thanked him for being so sweet and recording that for me, for trusting me not to laugh at his gentle song, realizing I would have never, EVER sent anyone something like that, for fear of ridicule, looking stupid, being too vulnerable, you name it.  But he just sent it out to the universe, trusting I would allow it, and I did.

Miracles.  I am definitely looking forward to knowing this gentle creature, this obviously very talented gentleman, this seemingly old-fashioned cowboy.  Could he be one of those "cute but good guys"?

Either way, I'm getting to know this inner child that I lost for a while.  Stay tuned!