Wednesday, April 27, 2011

More Potential Speed Dating Disasters Pt. II

Hello, cats and kitties. Get's what's new on the dating field here in the Hills?

Well, I got another e-mail from that bozo who's trying to make speed-dating work here in Rapid. I'm sure I inadvertantly wound up on his spam list.

Anywho, it's being held at Cheers, which is exactly as old-timey sounding as its name. In fact, I'd be remiss if I didn't expect to see Dockers shoes there and Izods being sported by guys in my geriatric set.

Should I go? It'd be fun to go and laugh since last time I actually WENT by MYSELF.

If anything, it'll be more hillarious fodder for this blog. Should I go again? Do I dare? Bwahahahahahaha!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Good Bye to All That

Did I tell you Cactus Man tried once again, to Facebook me? Sigh. He sure doesn't get it. He keeps trying to make sure I don't forget him (as if any woman could). But he did inspire a poem. Since he left, December 2009, with his dogs, I've been trying to think of the best image to remember him by while he was here. I did it eloquently with this prose poem. Enjoy!


The last winter she saw him, they were stranded in that tiny house, wind howling, snow swirling against the glass, his four giant dogs piled on the couch. One of them tore down her blinds. She stepped on a piece, cutting her foot. Another threw trash all over the kitchen, a cereal box shredded like confetti, coffee grinds ground into the carpet. She wanted his love, but the only communication between them was of the dogs, the brown one always hiding under the table, looking for the man and wanting to go home. After he left, she found fleas in her couch. But he'd sent her an e-mail, “I can't be with you anymore. So long.” Once winter fled, melting three feet of frozen snow, the gutters tinkling with spring, did she find her tiny yard filled with excrement, giant piles of it everywhere, warming in the sun.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Rejections and Grace: How to have a little Class

I was thinking about how rejections affect us this morning. What is it that hurts more, that you were rejected or the manner in which the person rejected you? Let's examine a few I've encountered.

FOUR Crummy Ways to Reject Someone:

1. The Fake Horrendously UN-believable Lie: AKA as, "I can't date you because I'm dying and don't want to get close to anyone."

I had this one pulled on me last year. In addition to this being incredibly unbelievable, it's almost embarrassing that I heard it. "Dave" had told me this, and how he was going "for treatment" in Wisconsin. Then he accidentally sexted me a message that was meant for someone else. I "googled-white pages" his home phone while he was allegedly receiving chemo in Wisconsin (he lied about not having a home phone), so I called. And guess what? He picked up, and I hung up. He wasn't in Wisconsin; he was home, not in chemo, and NOT ill. Then a week later, I saw him on Plenty of Fish, fit as a fiddle, and two months later, had a new girlfriend.

2. The Fake Heartbreak: AKA as, "After my wife left me in 1991, I was so devastated that I can no longer date anyone. Sorry."

This one was pulled on me this past winter. I actually believed it and felt sorry for him. In fact, I gave him props that he admitted to being emotionally-unavailable. That is, until he hit up on my friend one month later. Then admitted to a friend who told me that he had a crush on a married woman whom he was currently chasing. Nice. His nickname is "Crash." I suppose that sorta says it all.

3. Then there's the Flimsy Lie: AKA as, "I can't be in any relationship right now," which was good old Cactus Man.

But as you all remember, he started dating the used car saleslady 3 weeks after those words passed his lips, or shall I say the text was shot from his fingers as he was too cowardly to tell me himself.

What these three fools showed me was that under pressure, they had no class.

4. Then there's the "I had fun, but there's just not the chemistry that I need to feel," text I got a few weeks ago. While he sent as a text, and at my dogged instigation (since he hadn't called me), it was better than the other three jokers. I already knew he wasn't into me when he was constantly staring at the bartender's boobs, legs butt and not listening to me as I was talking on our date.

BUT, at least he didn't make up a huge lie about having cancer and needing to go to treatment in Wisconsin, or blame it on an ex wife twenty years ago then hit on my friend.

Rejection must be doled out with class. Then it must be received with grace. But this is pretty hard to do when everyone's lying--except me. Sigh.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Spinach Bisque

Doesn't this look divine? Do any of you remember Macomb Dining Company back during the old W.I.U. days? Well, apparently "cheese whiz" went into the original recipe (ewwww!). I found a recipe online from a former W.I.U. graduate and updated it. It originally called for FIVE boxes of frozen spinach. But after I microwaved them to thaw them out, I realized that whomever posted the recipe had to have had a typo. There's NO way 5 boxes could have fit into the recipe. I also increased the amount of cream, too. I put my comments in parentheses.

Here's the original posting for the recipe


5 10-ounce packages frozen spinach, thawed and drained well (I used 2 and a half)

3 cups half and half (I upped this one cup and used fat-free)

3 large packages cream cheese, cubed (I also added 2 TBL of butter)

1 can chicken broth

¾ cup shredded Parmesan cheese

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

1 teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon pepper

2 cloves garlic


In saucepan, heat spinach and half and half until heated through. Add rest of ingredients until all cheese is melted. (I cooked the spinach and half and half on very, very low as to not curdle the milk. It also helps to cook the spinach down a bit. Wait to add that third cup of milk to see how thick or thin you want this soup to be).