Friday, April 15, 2011

Rejections and Grace: How to have a little Class

I was thinking about how rejections affect us this morning. What is it that hurts more, that you were rejected or the manner in which the person rejected you? Let's examine a few I've encountered.

FOUR Crummy Ways to Reject Someone:

1. The Fake Horrendously UN-believable Lie: AKA as, "I can't date you because I'm dying and don't want to get close to anyone."

I had this one pulled on me last year. In addition to this being incredibly unbelievable, it's almost embarrassing that I heard it. "Dave" had told me this, and how he was going "for treatment" in Wisconsin. Then he accidentally sexted me a message that was meant for someone else. I "googled-white pages" his home phone while he was allegedly receiving chemo in Wisconsin (he lied about not having a home phone), so I called. And guess what? He picked up, and I hung up. He wasn't in Wisconsin; he was home, not in chemo, and NOT ill. Then a week later, I saw him on Plenty of Fish, fit as a fiddle, and two months later, had a new girlfriend.

2. The Fake Heartbreak: AKA as, "After my wife left me in 1991, I was so devastated that I can no longer date anyone. Sorry."

This one was pulled on me this past winter. I actually believed it and felt sorry for him. In fact, I gave him props that he admitted to being emotionally-unavailable. That is, until he hit up on my friend one month later. Then admitted to a friend who told me that he had a crush on a married woman whom he was currently chasing. Nice. His nickname is "Crash." I suppose that sorta says it all.

3. Then there's the Flimsy Lie: AKA as, "I can't be in any relationship right now," which was good old Cactus Man.

But as you all remember, he started dating the used car saleslady 3 weeks after those words passed his lips, or shall I say the text was shot from his fingers as he was too cowardly to tell me himself.

What these three fools showed me was that under pressure, they had no class.

4. Then there's the "I had fun, but there's just not the chemistry that I need to feel," text I got a few weeks ago. While he sent as a text, and at my dogged instigation (since he hadn't called me), it was better than the other three jokers. I already knew he wasn't into me when he was constantly staring at the bartender's boobs, legs butt and not listening to me as I was talking on our date.

BUT, at least he didn't make up a huge lie about having cancer and needing to go to treatment in Wisconsin, or blame it on an ex wife twenty years ago then hit on my friend.

Rejection must be doled out with class. Then it must be received with grace. But this is pretty hard to do when everyone's lying--except me. Sigh.

1 comment:

t said...

Yeah, no sh**. Number 4 is actually great. It is classy. If you KNEW though that he hadn't called etc, why did you ask? I don't think it was wrong to ask--men do this all the time and want a full explanation. When THEY ask, here's the response they want: "Actually I'm a lesbian and although you are so smokin' hot that I would consider swinging the other way just to be with you, I have a girl crush right now. If that works out, I'd be open to a threesome though."

Anything other than that, and the guy is astounded to get a rejection. Yet if we want closure, they are allowed to lie and be a-holes about it.