Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Dumb Names vs. Cool Names


Yes, I know that my picture has nothing to do with this post. I'd taken it after adding my little addendum, and submitted it to "Passive-Agressive Notes," dot com, but never heard back, so meh.

Lately, there's some dorks who are dying to meet me. But, and I know I sound Seinfeild, their names are such turn off's, AND, I think they're dorks anyway like Andy Gibb Guy, the dude I quasi-dated before Count Crackula.

OK, now listen up guys. Don't lie. You'd never date a woman named Bertha, would you? How about Ethel, Hulga or Helga? You'd at least have initial reservations.

Face it, names tie into the sexy factor. Sexy people, except for George Clooney, have sexy names.

For men:
Brad, Jay, Jason, Marcus, Mike, Ryan, Scott--even weird names like Sid (Vicious). All sexy names.

NOT:
Chuck/Chuckie, Harry, Gary, Fred, Ralph, Zekeil (what am I missing?)

The newest on my list are "Chuck" and "Harry." Sigh.

Last names count, too:
Sexy last names: Chavira, Kingry (the king-of-my-life for many years), or even regal names like Steger, Williams, Wolfe, Walker, Ford, and anything Italian with the right blend of consonants and vowels. I went to school with an entire pack of "Hainline's" and what a sexy name is that? Were all of the Hainline men good looking? Hell, yeah.

Bad Last Names: Grofelson, Binklemen, Bibsy, Gofenstein, Greenfield

Can you imagine in the throes of passion, screaming out, "Oh, YEAH Ethel Greenfield!"? Or "Oh, yeah, Harry Binklemen!"

Sigh.

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