Sunday, October 16, 2011

Octoberfest and the New Rapid City Downtown Pavilion


Yesterday, JJ and I went to the pumpkin-patch and got pumpkins. On the way home, we went through the new downtown pavillion project and suprisingly found there was a festival going on. Beiberfest or something to that effect. However the new square's architecture leaves much to be desired.

"I feel like we're in communist Russia," JJ said, noting the strange, cement-like sculptures.

"Nice proletariat touch," I add, noting that the stark design of the place was very1946, East Germany. I can't figure out what it has to do with the Black Hills other than..... "Maybe these weird penis-like sculptures are supposed to represent the crags up on Cathedral Spires?" I offer, figuring this had to be what the designer was shooting for. JJ just made a confused face.

"But why the Star Trek-looking sound stage?" she asked. I must admit, the designers they must have hired had mixed concepts or were under controlled-substances. The sound stage that was built with a weird mix of concrete and white painted aluminum looked alarmingly like the Starship from Star Trek and really doesn't fit in with the Black Hills at all. "Beam me up, Scotty." Why build a space station? Why not build something from cedar or knotty pine or mimic the brick architecture from other downtown buildings?

But the oddest thing at Octoberfest was the strange two-piece band playing Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison Blues--as a polka? Really?

However, even MORE alarming was the fact that here was a good 300-400 people and we only saw 3 good lookin' dudes. Seriously? That's hard to swallow after our secret find last weekend where ALMOST EVERY MAN WE SAW WAS A CUTIE.

Instead, we saw--
1. offensive baseball caps
2. alarming baggy pants
3. frightening stone washed jeans
4. scary shirt tuckers
5. putrid rally shirts
6. terrifying Magum P.I. circa 1983 lip-shrubs
7. spooky greasy mullets

"Acccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk," I cried, squirting my eyes with bleach to disinfect my vision.

In other words, the usual turds of Rapid City. This could have been improved had we been allowed to enter the interior beer tent and not just along the outside with the old people polka-ing.

"How much to get in?" I asked the lady carding at the front of the beer tent.

"30 dollars, but you get to drink for free."

"What?" I gasp.

After JJ and I got over the initial shock, we left. There MIGHT have been cute dudes in there, or there could have been just a sea of caps and rally shirts.

Well, the good news is that this will be good for Rapid City, this new downtown park. And who knows, maybe someone cute will move here and JJ and I will have some new eye candy.

In the meantime, I guess it's back to our secret spot we found last weekend with the imitation Eddy Vedders because, we sure as hell ain't gonna find it in Rapid.

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