Sunday, October 9, 2011

Good Lookin Dudes

Where's this? You might find yourself asking. Certainly NOT South Dakota, you might be adding. Neums must have road-tripped to Steamboat Springs again. Maybe she's back in Lander, WY.

Believe it or not, girls, this wasn't Colorado. This was in South Dakota last night. Not only that, but in the Black Hills. JJ and I found this little joint, this pocket of sheer heaven where there's a plentitude of good looking dudes and not enough good looking chicks to go around.

But that can't be in the Black Hills, you might argue. It can't be because there are NO good lookin' dudes in the Black Hills.

I know. I know. But there was, in spades.

Signs You've Run Into Intelligent Good Lookin' Dudes:

1. A suprising scent called "Good Hygeine" is in the air mixed with nice quality men's cologne. I'd forgotten what "men's cologne" was until the owner, a tall drink of drink of water, walked up to me and actually put his hand on my back.

"Well, hello there," he said. My mouth had fallen open and flies were copiously buzzing in and out of my mouth.

"Uh, (stammer) hi," I offered lamely, suddenly weak in the knees. Then a minute later as he walked off, "JJ, did you see that good lookin' dude? WTF?" I hissed in shock.

"Shaddup. Sit down, you're blocking my view of Eddie Vedder."

"Oh, sorry."

2. The lack of baseball caps. Good lookin' dudes don't wear 'em. That's a fact. And get this, we saw . . . . . . . .

3. Stylish hairdoo's!! Yes, check out that MANE of hair on the Eddie Vedder dude! And there was another man with shoulder-length hair running sound for the chick playing the guitar. JJ and I sat and drooled into our drinks.

4. Stylish clothing. Yes, you heard that right. Not a single "Shirt Tucker" in the whole crowd and only 3 caps. No polo shirts, no Wranglers, just hip, stylish clothing and retro-grunge post-punk.

5. Intelligent conversation--Not a single fucking TV in the place, so no nonsense about sports. More like, "Have you tried that organic cheese over there?" or "We've got a bicycle-driven ice-cream maker out back. Wanna see? Going green, baby!"

I'm sorry, but I can't tell you where this FOUNTAIN, this mother-lode, this New El Dorado is. I don't need a damned stampede of good looking women, desperate to get the fuck out of Rapid's seedy selection. LOL. Sorry.

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