New Friends and Summer on the Horizon

Ahhhhh, spring is here.

Or so we think.  But I hope it is.

It's Friday, time to flee, and time to meet a new friend.  I'm excited to make a new friend, for we share one big thing: Northern Exposure.

Isn't that grand?

More later.

Feminism and Loss of Identity

Apparently, Once Again, I'm RIGHT

I will admit sadly, because I'm reading this Gloria Steinhem book, and it's rocking my world.  It used to be that I looked around and saw women disappearing into men/relationships left and right.  They'd find a boyfriend, slowly stop hanging out with their old friends.  Sometimes, it'd be abrupt.  They'd find a new boyfriend, and BOOM you would hardly hear from then again . . .  UNTIL they broke up.

Remember in high school, so many girls were so obsessed with finding a boyfriend?  Guys weren't obsessed that way.  Instead, they were obsessed with other things, like goals/sports and sure sex was always on their mind, but not disappearing into a relationship.

If we've made such leaps and bounds with the women's movement, why are girls and women still doing this?

Then I wondered if they were really disappearing, or if I was losing my mind.

Then after I started reading Gloria's Revolution from Within: A Book of Self-Esteem, and she vindicates, using many reports and studies, that women do indeed DISAPPEAR into men, or better put, they disappear into the "relationship."  I feel better: I'm not losing my mind. Thanks, Gloria!

Here's her book.  I recommend it highly for all women who are independent and would like to stay that way.

http://www.amazon.com/Revolution-Within-Self-Esteem-Gloria-Steinem/dp/0316812471/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366998476&sr=1-1&keywords=gloria+steinem+books

It's not "focusing on their relationship" like Dooders said. It's disappearing into it.  Sure, some men do this too, but it's very rare compared to the rates women do it.

In fact, there's this book dedicated to this very phenomenon:

http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Him-without-Losing-You/dp/0471409790

AND, scads of everyday articles about it such as this:
http://madamenoire.com/195275/the-disappearing-woman-why-do-women-lose-themselves-in-relationships/

As Mamie remembers, Carrie noted from Sex in the City, "If two souls have only one thought between them, something's very wrong."

BINGO.
I have been enchanted with men before, and even obsessed sometimes, but I can say, I have never lost myself.  In fact, the shortest time I dated someone before living with them was a FULL two years, and even then, the guys gave me tons of room, and I never dumped my friends who would have kicked my ass if I did.

So what gives, what with all the modern changes we've made, why do women disappear into a relationship?

Alaska--Where Dreams are Born

My Northern Exposure fans will recognize this one as I was priviledged to go here last summer--ahhhhh.

Alaska.

What is with that place?  I've been obsessed with it as of late.  As my friends know, I've got the soul of an adventurer, an explorer.  One day, with no reason, I just picked up and moved out west to where I am now.  No man, are you kidding me, influenced this.  In fact I had a boyfriend at the time, whom I left to move out here.  No job influenced this, you kidding me?

I just wanted to explore.  This was 14 years ago.

Now, I have a good job, respect, a great house.

Yet, still I find my foot itchy of late.

Alaska.  The Yukon.  What is it?

As Stretchie said to me a few weeks ago, "Neums, why not?  You'd love it there.  Eccentrics, artists, mountain men.  It's YOU."  As Matt is always saying, "Natalie, you'd never come down to the lower 48 again."

Something about that place touches my lone wolf soul, makes me want to buy a truck, fill it with my books and antiques, grab Bennie and just. . . . GO.

I could see living in Unakleet, Palmer or Talkeetna.  Even Anchorage.  I could see infusing the culture with my culinary skills, opening up a bistro and creating masterpieces out of moose and elk.

What is it about that place?  Stay tuned.

Spring Craziness, Spring Fever and Other Musings

If you can't have a sweet doggie begging for his Easter basket, what have you?

What's new?

Well, I'm really proud of one friend of mine who's dating this dude, and just takin' it easy-peasy, slow, nice and healthy.  I think he's teaching her lessons, inadverntantly, about herself.  So it's fun to see.  He's not her "the one" but who cares?  Why do we Americans put so much stress on that?  Just have fun and live in the Eckert Tolle moment.

What else?  Talked with an old friend of mine, whom I adore.  She's vice pres. and CEO of one of our nation's biggest mobile phone companies, yet, she's as humble a person I've known, and I've known her for almost 30 years.  She's what I call a "natural feminist."

A Natural Feminist doesn't have to toot her own horn. She's not into material possessions, comparing herself to the Joneses.  She doesn't NEED kids to define herself, and she doesn't disappear into a man either.

She just, well, just IS.

I love how the universe has been moving me along to these great women-friends.  And I'm chomping at the bit to read Gloria Steinem's Revolution From Within.

Ironically, there's a wealthy, attractive, Harley-riding, grounded mechanical engineer-investment banker who's interested in me locally.  Meh.  He's nice, and I told him we can most certainly explore our friendship. 

It's funny.  When you're entirely 100% independant and comfortable, really good men are attracted to that.  Maybe it's the chase?  I'm not desperate and love my quiet life.  I do not disappear into a man, nor do I need one to feel completed.  Or maybe it's the calm from within that they like?  Either way, I'm in the moment and have no hurries.

Stay tuned, folks. And simply just love the moment.

Envy, Jealousy, Sloth, Coveting and Other Vices

Here was a fun little dive Doooders and I found two years ago, and I'm sure there were vices by the bucketload that have occurred here: lustfulness, pride, envy, jealousy, coveting, etc.

What is your vice?  Not a habit like say drinking, smoking, lighting your farts on fire, but what's the one weak downfall that you have, your Achilles Heel?  Do you try to keep it in check?  Or do you only TELL yourself you keep in check when you really don't.

Are most people aware or ignorantly UNaware of theirs?

I go through little intense spells where the Universe will show me a quality in people that I despise, and then it'll show it to me over and over again with many people, and I then wonder, what are you trying to tell me Universe?  Are you trying to make me sick of the human race or just more attuned to my own judgemental pronouncements toward others, or are you trying to warn me that I have this vice as well and need to work on overcoming it?

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of sloth and envy around (bear in mind I work with the public, so I encounter people in masses every day).  I've been conscious about envy and try to be aware of it, conscious of it in myself.

But look around.  Take note.  Then take that note home to yourself.

Do you WORK to avoid that which is your weakness, to climb over that, or do you live in denial?

Are you a Foodie or a Food Moron?

Benny says, "Let them eat cake!"  This was a particularly amazing cake, I might add, that I created for Rob's birthday.

Food.

Today, it got me thinking after listening to some strangers go off on food.

What does it mean to be a fine appreciator of cuisine?  Does everyone have the capacity or is it a learned taste?  Are there food morons out there?

I think so.

After listening to some Food-Morons today, talk about food, I think the appreciation of food is more like art.  You have the intellectual capacity, or you do not.

I overhead one moron say he doesn't like mayonnaise.  Really?  Not even homemade?  Are you an idiot?  Then the other moron said he liked some entree at Applebees.  Are you serious?  I wanted to interrupt with, "YOU DO know that their food is 'Corporate' food, made, frozen or canned elsewhere, then only re-heated on the premise you established.  You DO know that you fucking idiot, right?"  But I shut my chocolate pie hole.

Then, the other person attempted to show he's a foodie by saying that now and then, "I try a new chicken sandwich or chicken entree in a restaurant."  WOW.  Chicken.  That's all you'll eat?  Of all the millions of food combinations with grains, proteins, fish, meat, game, that's all you'll eat?

It lead me to some interesting conclusions.  Americans do NOT like to stretch their palettes.  They do not like to try new things.  They like what they like and nothing more.  When they DO try something new, they are already negatively telling themselves in their mind that they do NOT like it.

What's next to come out of a nonfoodie's mouth, "I don't like milk in my coffee.  I prefer Coffee Mate." or, "I'd really prefer NOT to have that fresh dairy whipping cream.  Please give me some Cool Whip."  OR "No, I'd prefer NOT to have that Stilton cheese.  I'd prefer to have Easy Cheese."

OK, my blood pressure's rising.  Better sign off.  Good night!  I'm looking out for all your palettes.

Greatest "Almost" Romance Ever

 

 

 

Happy Presidents' Day.
Wait, this is Crazy Horse.  OK, Happy Inspirational Leaders Day.

How was everyone's weekend?

Mine was super chilly.

Crackie came up from Custer, and we spent most of the day together before I went over to Mr.  J's house for a Bitchin Kitchen Fest and excellent food and company.

Crackie?  From Custer?  Sigh.  Yeah, Yeah, I know what you're thinking.  Be careful.  But Crackie and I are just friends.  Despite everything we went through, we never even slept together, gasp.

It's hard when he leaves, because I think he he is one of the most gorgeous men (inside and out) whom I've ever met.

And like always, we're passionately laughing and talking at the same time, and so many coincidental things happen between us.  Like, we're both reading the same books; we finish each other's sentences.

We spent the whole day together, used bookstore shopping, going to Sam's Club, and we had a fabulously romantic lunch.  The whole time, arms linked together or holding hands like two best friends.

The chef at the bistro said to me, as I was trying to pay for a piece of Sage-Derby cheese, "Your husband's on the other end of the counter waiting for you."

Your "husband."  I laughingly told Crackie this, and said it's because we just naturally look good together, and when we're around each other, we both glow-- he just smiled.  Sadly, I might add.

Star-crossed lovers=lovers who, for whatever the reason or season in the universe, are just not meant to be together at this one point and time.

There's nothing sadder than that.

There's the "Mistake" the guy you wish you'd never met (BTW: I think Cactus Man has been reading this blog as of late--because of Analytics--which, I have no idea how he ever found this blog, more later, meh, I already have a few ex's who read this, so WTF), then there's the guy who got away, the one man in your life whom YOU SHOULD have been with, but for whatever reason, you just can't be with.

So that makes at least two: Crackie, and Jay, who passed away 20 years ago last July.

It's a crazy world, a funky, trippy universe; you can't force it to give you what you want--in fact, you have VERY LITTLE to say about what the universe has planned for you --stay tuned.