Thursday, August 28, 2014

Camping with Effeminate Men, Manly Men and Gender Roles

"I'm here, Momblee, in case you accidentally drop some of that portebello burger," says Bennie as we're "yard camping" this summer since I cannot find anyone to backpack or camp with other than Indifferent Man.

Manliness.  What is it?  Why is it important to a tom-girl?

This is something I've been contemplating lately since it appears I've only been dating effeminate men lately.  So what is manliness?  I'm not sure, but I can tell you what it isn't.

Talking in a baby voice (saying "peas" instead of "please"), giving long plot synopses to Disney movies, not knowing how to chop wood or start a fire, biting one's nails, singing to Micheal Jackson/Micheal Bolton/Winger songs in a falsetto voice, and bustin' out some disco moves in the grocery store, for starters are NOT manly things.  They are libido-breakers. 

You can't even begin to know what effeminate is until you run into it face-to-face.  But some men are just that.  Sex and the City even did an episode about it with a friend of theirs who married someone whom everyone thought was a gay, only he wasn't gay.  He was just very, very effeminate.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I like a dude who's emotionally available.  I require it, actually.  But I also like a Lee Marvin kinda man who also holds doors open, pays for my tab, chops wood, works on his own Shovelhead.  Speaking of, I know someone like this, but he lives 200 miles away in N.D.

He's that old school kind of kinda guy that I can't seem to find.  "Old School" around the Black Hills translates to Nascar-watchin'-cammo-wearin' redneck around here.  And that ain't either cool or old school.

Here's the kinda old school he is:
1. lots of stylin' black clothes and a deep low voice like Johnny Cash
2. cool tats, (not tats of howling wolves, eagles or the words "Harley Davidson")
3. races modifieds (race cars) semi-professionally.  I mean, how sexy is that?  (Picturing a pit crew with cool mechanic's shirts on that say his racing team on the back while he calmly gives out orders to his men while they hurry to get the car back on the track is a helluva lot sexier than some redneck belching and watching Nascar on the couch in his cammo, skid-marked underwear.)
4.  has a kick start old Shovelhead that of course, only HE works on (swoons in a Sons of Anarchy kind of way).  He kinda reminds me of Jax, only his head is shaved.
5. likes cool music (not Micheal Jackson and ABBA)
6. owns his own old house with hardwood floors
7. has grown daughters he is close to (emotionally available!)

But, alas, he works all the time (works in his family's metal shop, sexy=check!) and is totally passionate about his racing, so it takes up almost all of his free time, and again, lives at least two hours away.

Sigh.  More later on this one, I hope.

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