Sooo, I've been remiss again with December's postings. But not for long.
I read on Yahoo news that some young asshats decided to name their new baby girl, Hashtag. Seriously?? Hello? Cheech and Chong called. They want their bong back. Someone commented that baby Hashtag's parents mother's name is probably "OMG" and the father's must be "LOL." New levels of idiocy, folks!
Speaking of idiocy. Cactus Man attempted contact via text last week. Since Cactus is an idiot, I figured he was too stupid to realize that a Verizon "block" only lasts 90 days and not try to contact me ever again, so I never re-blocked him after about the 3rd time. However, Christmas day, I woke up to the sound of my phone beeping a text at 5:00 a.m. with an 813 area code.
Obviously, it was Cactus' number, and he wrote, "I wonder if I am still blocked. Merry Christmas."
Seriously? As if, Cactus. As if I want triple therapy all over again, as if I want toxic in my life again. Really? So I laid in bed, wondering what to text back. Something snipish? Something to chew his ass out? Ignore it? Re-block? I fell back asleep, and when I woke up, I knew.
I went over to my netbook and brought up my Verizon account and entered his number to re-block him, but before I hit "OK," I sent him this hysterical reply:
"Merry Christmas to you, too. Though I think you have the wrong number. This is Morris Bad Wound, Hermosa, South Dakota. Take care." Then I hit send, then I hit "OK" to block any immediate replies from him.
Then I fell over on the couch laughing. "Morris"? And "Bad Wound"? He'll either think, "Oh, she changed her number." OR, he'll figure out, once he tried to reply to "Morris" and got a blocked response, that I tricked him and will be furious. Either way, it's hysterical. What a great "last word."
Gotta love it. What a douchebag.
Happy New Year's!
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