Friday, November 12, 2010

New Dork on the Horizon?

Yippee-skippy, it's the weekend. I might have a new meeting with a potential dork. A friend of mine, whom I adore, (and don't want to hurt her feelings) wants me to meet her new boyfriend's "friend," tonight for happy hour.

Surprisingly enough, he's not on Facebook, so I have no idea what he looks like. My friend calls everyone "cute," which already raises suspicion. In her eyes, Marty Feldman, Woody Allen, and actors like that are also "cute." So I'm a tad worried.

His name is either "Stash" or "Crash," or "Slash," she wasn't sure. Yes, at best, I'm getting an image of "Slash" from Guns-n-Roses. I BEGGED her, as in almost on my knees, to make this NOT a "set-up." Instead, I said, "Can't we just all meet for happy hour as friends? Don't even tell him I'm coming." Of course, I know her, and she's probably told him I'm just his "type," so he'll have delusions of grandeur before I even show up.

However, I'm prepared for the worst and am already rehearsing alibis to get out of there after an hour or two, tops.

Got any recommendations?

Here's my short list:
1. "I've got to get up early tomorrow and meet some friends to clean up the tree limbs out of my yard from the tree trimming I had done. Say, do you have a truck I could borrow?" Then explain to him I don't drive and have only had a few crashes on my record.

2. "I've got to get going. My ex-boyfriend and I are going hiking tomorrow morning." Usually, with men, ANY mentioning of an "ex" always leaves them running for the door. They'll be happy to see you go and will never bother you again.

Unfortunately, those are the only two excuses I can think of to get away tonight. Does anyone have any suggestions?


Theresa said...

You probably can't use this, but I usually say, "I'd better get home. The twins were screaming their lungs out half the night so I'm kind of tired." This one never fails. Men actually get whiplash running the other way.

nate said...

Ha, ha. How about this, "I have to go home early and clean . . . my guns."

LOL. The pyscho-bit always works.