Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Facebook Fiascos!

Who needs a private detective to keep up with men anymore when you have Facebook? Isn't everyone on these days? If you're not, and if you want a relationship someday, my advice is to join. You can learn tons about a man or your sig other.
Let's take Mr. Big, the asshole. After I canned him, he got married. Like a jerk, he didn't know I knew this, which is unbelievable since we live in the same small town. I guess he didn't think I read newpapers or had any friends.
Anyway, after a year's hiatus from me, suddenly I get a "friend request" from Mr. Big. I accepted it, but as soon as I went to his profile, red flags started appearing all over the place.
1. He had no picture of himself, nor anyone. 2. He'd changed his last name a bit. Ex. Hartkins, transformed into "Hartkinson." 3. In the "relationship" status, he left it BLANK. Nice huh? What would his wife think of that?
Sure enough, the emails started friendly enough, asking about work, etc., but after four months, he started hinting at an affair. I'd never told him I'd caught on that he was married. Instead, call me vengeful, I was waiting for such an opportunity to lay into him. "Really? Really? What would your (insert dramatic pause) WIFE have to say to that?" Then I lambasted him for even remotely considering I had no morals, much like him. He backed off quicker than a cat with his tail caught in the door. Oh, and I passed around the notion that there was a Mr. Hartkins from this same town passing himself off as Hartkinson around downtown to various bartenders. Let the cards fall where they may with that cad.
Moving on to other aspects of Facebook. It's a great tool for seeing what a man is really like, especially if he has his friends AND family on Facebook.
Find out if your new man is on there. Come right out and ask him. Befriending him right away on FB is a good idea. After being with my boyfriend for 2 years and assuming we had a relationship, when he finally joined FB this past April, he left the "relationship" blank on his status page at "single" rather than "in a relationship." Furthermore, he saw no need to post a picture of me, though he had posted several pictures of his vacation with me, though none of me. After a beheading and almost leaving him for good, he realized his gaff and put he was in a relationship with me and a picture of me up there.
But you see what I mean?
Top Five Signals that Your Man is Full of Shit, Using FB as your Defence:
1. He's left his relationship status as blank or put "available."
2. There's no pictures of you on his site, even though you're officially dating or bf/gf.
3. There's pictures of his ex's on there. (not only pictures but strange suggestive tags)
4. He has a Facebook account, but doesn't send you a friend request because, "It's just really for my relatives/high school friends/co-workers, etc." HUGE flag saying to RUN.
5. There are pictures of events/parties on there with time date stamps that don't corro0borate with stories he's told you. I.e.,' I thought you and Susie broke up in 2001. That picture says 2003."

1 comment:

Theresa said...

I agree the PC in general can be a HUGE insight into a guy's mind. Even with my blog and running analytics I have gotten to see the character's of men I would not have known otherwise. Hell, it's more insightful than running a background check!

Big sounds like a moron and I never understood why you liked him--to me (even regarding this latest fiasco you are now in) seeing Big was the lowest point of your life, at least the part of your life where I knew you.

I'm staying off Facebook though. Danged if I want people knowing everything about ME!