Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Crazy Face of Love

Lately, my friends and I have been really going through the mill either trying to find love, repair broken love, or just fall in love with someone who floats their boat.
One friend is just counting the days til her kids are grown so she can leave her husband. Another is thinking of settling with a guy who while nice, isn't very cute at all. Another has been getting one flakey lover after another shaking up his world and leaving him in despair.

Seems other than one sister and one friend, everyone else is having not much luck, including myself.
He reels me in, whenever he feels like I'm ready to leave forever, yet he's not willing to do any of the work needed to make a relationship thrive. And sending me an invitation to his Facebook where I found out that his relationship status was set to "single" as opposed to "in a relationship," leaving it blank, or even better, "it's complicated," like what I thought we had, really sent me for a loop. This coming down the pike after telling me TWO WEEKS AGO that he wanted me to consider moving to Florida for good, is just overwhelming.
There's so many people with dysfunction in this world, the above included, so many damaged people. And I've never thought of myself as co-dependant, but it seems, that's a very popular role when you have so many damaged people out there.
I really think it boils down to a few simple facts:
1. many Gen. X'ers came from broken families, and you can say all you want, but that creates dysfunction in people, like my b/f situation. While it's not impossible, it's not very likely most of the time to see someone come from a bad family life then turn out to be a really kind, caring and compassionate person ready to foster a stable relationship.
2. Fear of intimacy/committment KILLS many relationships.


Theresa said...

This is the way of the world I am afraid! I would not take the "single" status to mean anything though--most people who are not legally married refer to themselves as "single" even if they are in a committed relationship.

Single people are more interesting, on the whole, than marrieds. Marrieds--their lives are comfy and all laid out for them. Everything is boring, routine, and steady. This leaves little room for growth.

I recognize myself mentioned amongst your friends there in sentence 3. Sad, but true. Though i think it won't happen. I don't think this John guy will ever acutally write either, let alone make an 8 hr drive.

You want depressing? Read mynext email...

Jen said...

I disagree about the comment regarding people coming from bad families. I know a lot of people who come from crap families and are giving, sweet, compassionate people.

I think I am that way and my family life wasn't great. We all just do the best we can with what we've got.