Saturday, July 14, 2012

Pets, My Dog-son and Crackie

Ever notice how the saying, "Pets resemble their owners" is true?

Ben's driving me bat-shit crazy.  For the past TWO HOURS, he's been running from the bathroom window to the living room door over and over OVER AGAIN as if he's got O.C.D.

He's furious because Buddy, the dog next door, the "unbearably arrogant brute" Bennie's words, has escaped his yard again.  Bennie finds this personally offensive on many levels because he feels Buddy did this on purpose to personally affront him, throwing it up in his face.  Bennie finds this so unbearably rude, that he cannot, simply . . .

. . . let it go, until he goes back and forth across the living room, 75 times, ruminating over it and making this little huffing-under-his-breath noise, the way he does when he's personally insulted.

Of course this is HIGHLY aggravating for me to have to witness.

Then of course I cringe, seeing the direct comparison between Ben and Buddy, to me and Crackie. And how obsessed both Ben and I are when we have become convinced that someone is nefariously out to get us.

Well, I can't read Buddy's mind, but I know Crackie pretty well.

Here's the whole story summarized.  I needed my counter fixed. I needed someone unemployed with time on their hands, who's talented with a saw. Crackie, of course fit the bill, so I emailed him after basically not talking to him for almost a year. He thought he could fix my counter, too. Long story short, I felt "attracted" (again, sigh) to him while watching him work (over two weekends) .  Of course, he couldn't have gained weight or gotten ugly, no.  I could see the outline of a nicely rounded ass cammoflaged under the soft folds of his shorts, his long tanned legs, thickly muscled and I drooled after having held my Nun-like status for going on 5 years now. . .  Anyway, he saw me wearing my "drool bucket" and put the smack down, rather sharply across my hands before I could even cop as much as a generous assfeel. Like anyone getting a sharp crack of the ruler and the consequent rejection of an ass-booting, it hurt like hell, so I roared back, rather loudly. Then we had a stupid passive-aggressive email pissing contest, then I blocked him.

Isn't that dumb? Isn't my dog-son, Bennie, just a chip off the ol' block?

Sigh.  But there's more.  Like I said, a new man on the horizon.  But that's fodder for another post.

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